


Promises - Rafael Barba

by Sherrykinss



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:22:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24424966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sherrykinss/pseuds/Sherrykinss
Summary: Rafael cancels a brunch date last minute.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Reader, Rafael Barba/You
Comments: 2
Kudos: 34





	Promises - Rafael Barba

**Author's Note:**

> SO… @eighthmark (on tumblr) and I were just casually fb messaging when magic all of the sudden hit us. And we magically came up with this dialogue. Jo (eighthmark), completes me and this is proof of amazing team work. I had written the skeleton and she frickin’ brought the skeleton to life with meat and organs and such. Yall don’t understand the finesse she can bring to the damn table! YALL DON’T KNOWWWW!! I am freaking out because thissssss is insane. I hope you guys enjoy and hurt like we both did.

She was sleeping serenely, until she woke up to the noises of shuffling around. Confused by the fuss, she rubbed her eyes awake. She sat up when she spotted Rafael getting dressed with her bleary eyes. All attempts of getting a few more minutes of sleep faltered as she felt him shift his weight on the bed to tuck his shirt into his pants. Still droopy from the abruptness, she took a moment to wake up as she watched Rafael snap on his suspenders.

She smiled to herself and shook her head subsequently, wondering why he always insisted on getting so dressed up. After all, they were only going to the cafe three blocks down. She had planned to come straight home afterwards; spending the rest of their day wrapped in each other’s arms with a movie they had both promised each other long time ago they would see.

Her smile began to fade when she noticed him lift his briefcase from the floor, securing its clasp and setting it on the bed. Of course, she thought to herself, he wasn’t dressing up. He was dressing for court. Already feeling the pangs of disappointment, she tried her best to push it aside and allow for a little optimism.

She cleared her throat to garner his attention. He spun around to face her while he looped his tie around, expertly slipping the silk cloth into the small hoops.

“Oh hey, what are you doing awake so early?” He said, heading over to her side of the bed.

She grumbled incoherently, earning a chuckle from him. He leaned over the bed and kissed her good morning. Basking in his affection, she realized now that she had been worried for nothing. He had remembered.

She softly smiled and ran her fingers through her hair as an attempt to brush it.

“I have to head out. Liv just called.” He quickly said.

The sleepiness instantly faded. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“So… are we not having brunch?” She questioned.

The confusion slowly turned into anger as she saw him take his phone out and began to, from what she could observe, send a text message instead of answering her.

“Can’t-” He said, not even lifting his head from the screen to look at her. “Rain check?”

She sat there with a sour frown on her face, not quite believing what was happening. She hasn’t seen her loving boyfriend in two weeks. In fact, she wasn’t sure if loving was the right word to use to describe him anymore. She thought she could get used to it; the long gaps. After all, she didn’t jump into the relationship without knowing how much of a workaholic he was.

“Right-” She curtly said before pausing. “Again.”

She could feel the heat flush on her cheeks. She glanced down at the crumpled sheets and tried to coax her out of the creeping irritation. Without warning, all that bothered her during the past two weeks had resurfaced in her mind.

All the missed calls and non-replies. When he would finally call her back, the conversations would be so short and fruitless he might as well have not called back at all. She could barely remember the last time they both had a sit down meal.

After a night of jittery excitement for this date, it was a huge disappointment to have it be cancelled.

“I missed you.” He sighed, as he gripped the sides of his briefcase tightly.

“Be nice if you’d act like it.” She mumbled under her breath.

He was about to head out the door, when he caught what she had mumbled under her breath. His stomach sank and he slowly lowered his briefcase. His face scrunched at her response. The lines on his forehead etched of concern.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked.

She snuck a glance at him, immediately noticing his green eyes piercing right at her. It had caught her off guard, but she wasn’t going to let that be known to him. Instead, she rolled her eyes and tossed the covers aside.

“You’re gonna be late.” She walked by him and into the bathroom.

He scoffed in disbelief and refused to leave before he got an answer.

“No.” He crossed his arms and leaned against the bathroom door frame. Staring at her reflection, he urged her to look at him through it. “Tell me what you meant by that.”

She looked at him briefly, but wasn’t phased by his sudden interest. She looked away and wet her toothbrush.

“Are you really going to ignore me?” He asked softly.

The frustration in his voice almost made her feel guilty, which instantly dissipated when she caught him check the time on his watch from the mirror.

“If you’re in a rush, then go.” She muttered, with a mouth filled with foam.

“No, I’m not leaving until you explain yourself.” He stubbornly shrugged his shoulders.

Her eyes narrowed into a scowl, she gargled and spat into the sink. After running water over the stain on the sink, she turned to face him.

“Explain myself? Why, am I in trouble now?” She snarkily remarked.

She grabbed the face towel from the rack and soaked it. She washed her face, hoping that by the time she was done, he wouldn’t be standing there.

“What did you mean back there, that I don’t act like I miss you?” He pressed.

“You don’t,” she said simply, “Because if you did, you wouldn’t cancel our lunch date for the umpteenth time.”

She hung the towel back on the rack and slipped by him.

Rafael felt bad for canceling, but he always thought she would understand. Perhaps, he was wrong.

“We can go another time. It’s not a big deal-” He argued.

“That’s the thing. It’s always a next time with me isn’t it? But soon as someone calls, you run straight to them.” She said, not appreciating the way her voice cracked at the end.

“Our suspect has been caught. I can’t waste anymore time.”

She flinched at his poor choice of words. His jaw clenched, feeling a pang of guilt after catching the flash of hurt in her eyes. As always, she gave him the benefit of doubt. Perhaps, he didn’t mean that she was wasting his time.

“Do you realize that I haven’t seen you in two weeks?” She whispered.

He could only shrug in response. He didn’t realize it had been that long. He had been busy. It’s always the same thing. He was just always so busy. She understood that to an extent, but after hearing the same excuse over and over- it gets old.

Silence filled the room for a few moments, neither wanting to say something that they would eventually regret.

“I can’t always be there for you-” he began, “Not in the way you want me to be. I thought you knew this from the beginning. My work-” He paused and bit his lip, almost not wanting to say his next words.

“Is your priority. I know.” She quickly said.

“It’s not my only priority.” He sighed and shook his head.

“Raf, I can see your future clearly, but what I can’t see clearly is if I’m in it.” She explained.

He felt sick at the direction the conversation was heading. She didn’t mean for the conversation to take this turn. It wasn’t her intention to ruin his mood for what seemed like an important day for him. She hoped that he wouldn’t let this conversation alter his focus on the case. She didn’t want to end things like this.

“What do you want me to do?” She asked.

He knew that the passion he had for his career might eventually catch up to him one day. He was guilty of falling into old habits, burying himself with work, pushing himself for the sake of his future.

From the beginning it was all clear that he knew what he wanted. To be a successful, good lawyer. He had always regarded relationships as a bonus along the way; a well deserved reward for his hard work.

Looking at the woman standing in front of him now, tears brimming her eyes; he knew she wasn’t a reward. She was more than that. He could see a future with her. He wanted a future with her, but he felt guilty for neglecting their relationship. He couldn’t possibly have the right to make any decision for her.

He didn’t deserve her.

“Whatever you want.” He shrugged in defeat.

He couldn’t even look her in the eyes. If he did, he would see how her eyes were pleading for him to ask her to stay.

“That’s not helpful.” She said.

“It’s up to you. I don’t want to tell you what to do.” He quietly said.

“But I’m asking you to-” She pressed.

“I want you to do what you want. Without my influence.” He said, running his fingers through his neatly combed hair.

She sighed, frustrated by his indecisiveness. She knew how sharp he was in court, and yet the man standing before her lacked the will to even fight for their relationship.

“Don’t you care at all? About me, about us?” She asked, the tears finally falling out of her eyes.

“Of course I do!” He exclaimed.

“Then why can’t you ask me to stay? And fight for us?” She asked.

“I can’t make that decision for you.” He sighed.

Of course he wanted her to stay. He loved her.

She had seen him at his worse and still managed to stay. But what if staying with him would eventually fill her with regrets. What if she would come to hate him in the end?

He wasn’t confident enough to promise that he would really change. He couldn’t ask of her to stay and waste her time, when he could end up failing her.

“I never wanted this to be so complicated.” He shook his head.

“It doesn’t have to be.” She replied.

“I don’t make you happy anymore.” He said.

“I never said that.” She said, taking a step closer to him.

“You didn’t have to. I can see it, now” He said.

“You can make me the happiest woman. But you can also make me the loneliest woman.” She said.

“I don’t want to disappoint you anymore.” He said.

There was only one question left she had to ask, but she was terrified of his answer. With the way the conversation was heading, she had no choice but to find out the truth.

“Is this it, you want to give up? You said so last night, but do you even still love me anymore?” She asked.

His eyes immediately snapped up at her with the doubt of his love. He realized that he had never been an overly affectionate man, but he was deeply saddened that she didn’t know where she stood in his list of priorities.

“Of course I love you. I love you so much. I hate that I am making you doubt where you stand in my life. I want a future with you.” The words came in a rush, but he knew the moment he said them that they were all true.

He reached out and held her hands. Her eyes softened and a small smile spread on her lips.

“Do you really?” She asked, just in case she didn’t hear him right.

“I do. I can’t see a future without you. You’re my rock, my home.” He said.

“Well?” She asked, the held her breath.

“Don’t go. Stay. I know I’m not confident that I won’t you down, but I know I can’t lose you. I’ll work at it.” He promised.

“I’m holding you to that promise.” She said, giving his hands a little squeeze.

He smiled and leaned in to kiss her. She released his hands and pulled him in a tight embrace. All the pressure she felt from before subsided.

“I love you. Now go, you’re so late. We can finish up later.” She released him and lightly patted his chest.

“No, I’m hungry. Let’s get lunch.” He suggested.

Her eyes lit up and her eyebrow raised in shock.

“Are you blowing the detectives off?” She gasped.

“They can wait.” He cheekily smiled.

**Works inspired by this one:**

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